Journal Entry 14

The final entry, it feels good to know that I have plowed through the reading, some was enjoyable other bits a little trying and I am finalizing my script. I like to wait until the very last second to submit so I know in my own head that I tried to the end. I guess at some point as Lamott says you have to hang up and go but it all seems so important and I really try so hard to just get it right. I then have to stop and reflect on life in general then....I don't like every show on the air, doesn't mean it is bad, its just not my cup of tea. Just like I really like Bird by Bird but Three Genres while instruction was not my cup of tea for enjoyment. I am hoping to end this course with flying colors although I am afraid that the colors flying will be less than superb. I overall have truly enjoyed the cumulative experience of this course and really look forward to future writing and reading. Just not in the form of a script :)

Journal Entry 13

I am tired of reading the book, my brain is on overload and I know the end is near (of the book that is). I however, took alot from the instructions on comic conflicts in Three Genres. I think that the comedy I enjoy is more slapstick and exaggerated so I have tried to a certain extent to bring that to my script. I want to incorporate more ambivalence however I have found this difficult, of course that in and of itself is interesting too. I have already set the tone for the protagonist and antagonist of my script but I need more angst between my sisters in this script. Maybe if I become less tired of instruction and really reflect on Three Genres my mind will come full circle.

Journal Entry 12

Oh the struggles of the script. I have written about 5 pages and I really like my story line and concept. I think that it relates to the reality of life in a seinfeld manner yet houses the humor or at least I hope of that of Friends and still has the intimacy of the show sisters. I just wish that I was more confident of my ability with this. The script is due soon and I am at a block mentally. I keep re-reading it and ammending certain parts only to find that I change them yet again. I know the relationship between sisters so I feel that I have their familiarity with each other down part. The hardest part is not having them reflect too much of the same. Problem is my only point of reference with sisters is me and my own little sister and well we share one brain, at least thats how it feels. Onward I suupose but regardless I still struggle.

Journal Entry 11

HOORAY! I did well on the poetry assignment, that fact alone has given me a new braveness in the script writing process. I decided that writing an Episode of Friends would really do the show no justice and well I would not want to systematically destroy the humor that Friends has graced our lives with. After making this decision I thought about a show that I used to watch with my mom. It was called Sisters, I LOVED IT!!! SO I thought maybe I can write my own show about sisters who have similar humor to that of the cast of Friends but I can draw from my own life and use some of my memory bank to encourage the show. SO here it is a tv show called "Product of Divorce" I have decided to name th epilot episode "Happily Never After" I am having fun with it alothough I still have a great deal of fear that I may never actually make millions and have the next hit TV show...kidding (at least about the next hit TV show part.)

Journal Entry 10

Ah the text book, an instruction manual on writing. I like the way I can use it for a reference when I have a question about style or some other writing issue. It is a little dry to read but hey its a text book. The poetry section really was a great guide for this last assignment. I loved reading all the poems and learning about ways to make words art. I read the poem The Afterlife and I really enjoyed it. I rather liked the lines "How easy it is to say good-bye now to what was once firm and dear, and to that word forever." I guess this poem touched my heart as how I hope it is for people when they move onto the next life. I want it to be easy, or at least I want to believe that it is easy for people to let go of forever and the ties of the flesh. I read this poem over and over again just getting lost in the words and letting mkyself wonder. I was amazing to really see the beauty in the words and in their meaning. I have taken a new approach to reading poetry and I have this text to thank. I appreciate the art and importance behind each word and the way the words lay on the page.

Journal Entry 9

I decided I truly enjoyed the poetry assignment. I am waiting for the grade still and have been trying to think if I could have done anything better, revised a little more or just tried a different style. I guess it was just time to put the "pen" down and submit. I did however find that poetry was enjoyable, especially when you really try to make the words a visual instead of just formed letters. I am trying to think of new ideas for the next assignment of the Script. I am terrified of this assignment. I keep thinking I want to try and write a script from Friends but I think that trying to maintain the amount of humor in this show would be difficult and I would not want to slay a wonderful show with my attempt at writing for it. Perhaps I will try and write something and let someone else read it to give me sme direction. I really want to be able to write a script that is funny and meaningful yet in the line of friends or Seinfeld, about nothing but really its just everyday life and the funny happenings that drive our life force. I am struggling even with a concept. I hope to log an idea the next time I have a journal entry.

Well my poems are done and submited. I saved and resaved then started over and finally decided that I wasn't listening to my inner voice. SO I logged my initial ideas and let my heart take the pen and started to write. I am happier with the selections I posted especially a poem about a friend who committed suicide and how he held his dark secret of deprssion in until it finally caught him. I talked about an animal that passed and my past as a swimmer. I attempted a "patriotic" poem which was short but I think relevant. I also created a poem about being a mom, I hope the layout of the words catches the attention of a mom or really any parent. I clustered words to encourage faster reading and made caps points that can be taken as a shout at perhaps a child as instruction or the internal dialogue of the mom as she runs around all day. I really had fun with this assignment once I let my pens guide be th experience of my heart.
I hope the reader (s) enjoy. So far the people I have shared these poems with enjoyed them, but they may be biased since they understand me.

I have found that I am more interested in the Lamott book than the text book.
I do enjoy some part of the text I think there are great examples of work in the book. I have enjoyed the poetry sets, especially "A Secret Life", everytime I read it I get a new meaning.
I found chapeter 29 bery interesting in how to use th esound of language. I guess I under appreciate the art of language. Words are fun to play with especially when you have to really organize howthey are placed and try to encourage the intended meaning by placement. I really like the section on sound as meaning. I never really considered sound to have meaning but the deeper I dig into sound, it really is amazing how different words evoke different meaning. SOme somes are abbrassive (for example the "f-bomb") it is an abbrassive sound and is offensive in sound. But take rainbow, it evokes thought of sweetness and laughter.
I still think I prefer free verse poetry and the idea of visual patterns. I overlooked the importance of this until I started to work with my poems and read them out loud. Each time I changed the visual distribution I found that I liked the poem better or hated it and would have to reformat it.
Back to Lamott, her book is an enjoyable read and I find myself waiting to relax and read it. I have never felt relaxed when reading a school book, so this really takes the cake for me.

Haiku

I have made some attempts at Haiku and I think I really enjoy this particular style. AT first it seemed a rather large and impossible task to even attempt, but I really enjoy the process and the thought that has to go into each Haiku. I will really want to revise several of my poems at this point especially after having gotten into more of the reading. I never realized all of the elemnts that poetry really has to offer. Poetry is much more sensory, and I really enjoy making a meal of these words.

On another note, I was reading about dialogue in Bird by Bird and I really took alot from that chapter. It is true that when you don't "feel" a characters voice it ruins the book. I hate being disappointed by characters. When you are enticed by the internal thoughts it is unbearable to realize that the character is a mere shadow of what you thought and it takes every perception you had and preformed notion of where the story is going and flushes it straight down the pot.
I really think this will be important when writing scripts.

Journal Entry 5

I am having more a difficult time with poetry. I follow the stereotype of poetry having meter and rhyme. I do enjoy Haiku, but I find it very difficult for me to find the right syllable count per line to convey my thoughts. I am thinking that freestyle is going to be best suited for me however, in my efforts I am still falling into the meter trap. My mind is becoming blocked on the creative edge because I am so concerned with the outcome. I have re-read Ann Lamotts chapter on perfectionism in an attempt to let go of the fear of perfect compeletion and allow for a shitty first draft to apear. I think I am very "a" type and giving up control to my pen is very difficult. I like outlines and linear learning, I am again baptized in fear of failure. I have a notebook with blank pages starring at me and it is intimidating. I can't get what is in my head to read properly on paper much less at this point in the form of poetry. SO here is to a really shitty first draft and sevaral more shitty first drafts to follow. I am going to finish up on my attempts and leave them for a while and come back to them to see if I can gain a new perspective and a fresh way of creating poetry from my ramblings that are far from poetic.

Journal Entry 4

I FINALLY finished my narative. OH MY GOODNESS, I think my fingers have actually become a part of my keyboard. One minute I was in love with my story the next I thought it was worthless. Then I began to wonder, will this get me an "A" on this project? My answer to that was, well if it doesn't at least it was a great experience even if the bones are now poking through the tops of my fingers. I wrote a story about experiencing the death of a friend, it touch my heart and I feel that writing about it gave a little closure. I only hope that the emotion I felt when I found out was conveyed well and that the story evokes interest in the reader. I am a student not of this class but of life and perhaps this was a good way to see one of life's lessons and have to realize it and own the reality.
On another note, I fell behind a little on the reading but I know that I will take it to bed and use it as some bedtime reading. Tonight is eggplant parm, or I would snuggle and read right now. Occassionally, food, especially a good eggplant parm. can rip even the most diligent studen from the text.

Journal Entry 3

It's official I am a neurotic mess when it comes to writing. I relate very well to aspects of Bird by Bird. I have found my self really enjoying this book, I think it is great that Anne Lamott speaks as a real person in this book. I have found that every first draft I have ever written coinsides with this books chapter on "Shitty First Drafts" I have found her approach to writing thus far as a refreshing look. I never thought to sit and just put down every aspect of an occassion in order to develop a concept. I find it funny that when I want to tell a story to my friends I can emote laughs or sighs or tears. But when I sit down to put it on paper, my story becomes a mess and a mere fragment of the tale that was once told. Maybe it is trying to hard to make everything perfect or funny or sad por whatever. I guess it is just very intimidating to realize that you have a blank page to fill and if it sucks it has your name on it. I now know why research papers are easier for me to just write than a creative task, even though I tend to be more interested in the creative.

Journal Entry 2

I have started writing my draft for the first paper. I have decided to write this story in first person, even though the event was recent I feel I have conquered the emotion that I held on to for so long. Realizing the potential therapy that writing is becoming for me is making each paragraph a little easier to write. However, I have found that sometimes I almost give to much information and have to rewrite several lines in order to keep the major secret of this paper until the end. I hope that the story comes full circle and my readers will feel at least some of the emotion that I have/had about the happenings I am writing about. The subject matter itself is important and I think a lot of people don't realize the dangers of epilepsy. In any case I can only hope that after the revision of my other numerous revisions will make an impact on the readers of this literary non-fiction piece.

Journal Entry 1

This first week has been interesting. I have enjoyed the text a lot more than I anticipated. typically writing text drone on and bore the pants off me. Three Genres however has captured my attention and ignited a passion for learning the way to write. I particularly found it interesting that most good writers are avid readers. I have to say I often read Dean Koontz and the mans mind intrigues me. He has to get his material from somewhere, perhaps he reads King. Overall I have tried to read a litle from each of the books. I think Bird by Bird may be a read that I recommend to my family. I love the tone that the book has, conversational and real. Going back to the text, Killing Chickens was an amazing short story. The passion and emotion of this story really touched me. It is amazing the way she stressed and thought about the next days activities, true to a woman, always looking forward even when the here and now is dragging us back.